Our man Harry Brent is still furious with Vinicius Jr's reaction to the Ballon d'Or vote and has also turned his gun on Michael Owen and Martin Keown.
So we all agree, right? Vinicius Jr is a first-class bisexual. His little Ballon d'Or last week was more embarrassing than Mason Mount's career at Manchester United, and he is said to blame racism for the victory of Rodri, who is arrogant and classless as defeated without taking part in Conor McGregor or Joey Barton.
For a guy at the forefront of the perfectly noble fight against racist abuse in La Liga, coming up with a completely unfounded slur like this is counterproductive madness, a bit like recruiting Kai Havertz to be your goalscorer.
Perhaps, 'Vini', the result had something to do with the fact that grandfathers like Olivier Giroud and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang had more involvement in the goals than you last season, You angry, crying narcissist!
It's good to be a football legend, but when you're also a perpetual victim of Cristiano Ronaldo's fragile ego after missing a penalty, don't be surprised when people start treating you like you're a great stupid like him of Rikishi. . (search on Google). Forget the Ballon d'Or, the only award this man deserves is the Bellen d'Or!
Ballon d'Or
I don't understand Michael Owen. How can someone so harmless, so childish and so ordinary be so annoying?
Forget his hurtful comments for a moment - it shouldn't be hard since he's as perceptive as a dead badger - what I really can't stand is his annual posts like "Hey remember when I did You won the Ballon d'Or?' on social networks.
With all the finesse of a hippo on skates, Owen sends pictures of the trophy to his cashier every year as if he were David Brent bragging about winning the Slough Branch Manager of the Year award (watch a camera nearby).
He also changed his profile picture to one of him clutching the award as if it were the last shred of his dignity. He just seems like a man so insecure about his legacy that it makes Troy "I could play for Real Madrid" Deeney seems humble by comparison.
I'm sick of Martin Keown. Listening to this man is like eating cold, unsalted porridge - it's just a bland, disappointing experience.
But what I hate more than Everton hating financial stability is his particular way of speaking. He has this strange, almost exaggerated intensity, like he's telling a child why he shouldn't put his fingers in electric sockets, or explaining to Timo Werner what the big net behind the goalkeeper is. There's a self-deprecating idiocy about him that only Tim Sherwood can match. He pretends this is some kind of brilliant scientific analysis, but the arguments he makes are even simpler than Cole Palmer's.
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